What is Coaching?
The International Coach Federation (ICF) defines coaching as: “partnering with clients in a thought-provoking and creative process that inspires them to maximise their personal and professional potential.”
The idea being, that coach and client are working collaboratively together to achieve the client’s goals. The coach facilitates the client to choose the focus of each session in alignment with the overarching goals for their work together. Coaching is forward-looking and goal-oriented – the idea is to make progress in every session. The underlying belief is that the client is whole and fully resourced. The coach’s job is to listen, support, question, challenge, mirror back to build awareness and grow perspective, and at all times to hold the vision, the potential of the client, in mind, particularly when the client loses sight of it.
I like this further ICF description of coaching, which explains that it is: “an on-going professional relationship that helps people produce extraordinary results in their lives, careers, business or organisations. Through the process of coaching, clients deepen their learning, improve their performance and enhance their quality of life.”
Some key points here are that it is a professional relationship – not just a chat among friends; it helps produce extraordinary results – above and beyond what that person might produce on their own without coaching; and that within the process there is learning and improvement as well as enhanced quality of life.
How is Coaching different from Mentoring?
Very often what people think is coaching, is actually mentoring. Want advice and guidance on what to do and how to do it? That’s mentoring (or even training), not coaching. Usually, the Mentor is more senior or more experienced and offers advice, support and encouragement to the mentee. Among other things, the mentor often becomes a role model to the mentee. The mentee benefits from the life or work experience of their Mentor, which helps them on their own path to success. Someone who has been there and done that already, can save you a lot of wasted time and effort, and pass on their wisdom. Your mentor is there to share their experience and be on your side.
Coaching vs Mentoring – which do I need?
Both are valuable. If, for instance, you want to get that big promotion, or you want to set up or expand your own business, a Mentor will be invaluable in helping you set your path and learn from someone who has already done what you’re trying to do. The right Mentor will have so much experience to pass on to you and you should feel supported on your path.
At the same time, a Coach will really listen to you and help you to gain clarity on what you really want and why you want it; help draw out your potential, challenge your limited beliefs or unhelpful thinking, tune in to your emotions, empower you to make clear decisions and hold you accountable to take action.
One key difference is that a Mentor will give advice based on their experience. A Coach will not give advice but will help you work through the issue so that you gain clarity and make a decision you’re happy with. You may have chosen your coach because of their background or experience, and they may at times share their knowledge with you where appropriate, but they won’t tell you what you should do.
We probably all have people in our lives that we consider to be a mentor to us. Often the relationship is long-term and informal; whereas a coaching relationship is formalised, you are paying for a service for a fixed period of time, so if you are dealing with a specific personal or professional issue, a coach is ideal.
Ok, so now can you explain the difference between Counselling and Coaching?
I worked as a Counselling Psychologist for 20 years, with both adults and adolescents. In my experience, people usually come to therapy for help with anxiety, stress, depression, relationship difficulties, past trauma, etc.
- The key difference is that in counselling, people are starting at a minus position, and therapy helps them get back to normal, to ground zero. Sometimes that can be about reduction of symptoms, sometimes it’s improved wellbeing and quality of life, peace of mind. In coaching, people generally start at ground zero and progress into the plus zone, moving up to a more positive place, making progress on their goals.
- Coaching is forward-looking; very often counselling has to go into the past first before a person can begin to move forward.
- Coaching is goal-oriented, the client should be making progress every session. In therapy, you may have to really sit with the pain first, and it might feel like you go backwards before you go forwards.
- Coaching is usually time-specific – you agree to work with your coach for a set amount of time or number of sessions. For counselling – how long is a piece of string? – it will depend on the therapeutic approach and will often be open-ended.
If you have unresolved trauma or are struggling with your mental health, you need a suitably qualified therapist or counsellor, or psychologist. I no longer offer counselling/therapy services; I work both 1to1 and with groups, as a Coach – primarily with Senior Leaders or those leading their own business.
Tips for Choosing your Coach
In coaching it is not unusual for people to short-list about 3 different coaches and meet each one before making a decision. Most coaches will offer a free initial consultation to help you in your decision; and at the same time they will be assessing whether they feel you are ready, willing and able for coaching, and whether they feel they’re a good fit to work with you.
Before you do your research, get clear on why you are looking for coaching and what you want to get out of it. What are you looking for in a coach? What do you need from them? What do you hope to achieve together?
Perhaps someone you know has had a positive experience and can recommend their coach. Or you’ve seen someone online – check their profile, watch some of their videos, get a feel for their approach, read any testimonials (all of this can be found on a LinkedIn profile usually, or a website).
Once you have narrowed down your choice, the following tips should help:
- The key thing to look out for is a ‘good fit’. This means that you need to feel they have the right approach for you, you feel safe or comfortable with them and are happy that you could work successfully with them. It doesn’t matter who recommended them or how many plaques are on the wall; whether you’re looking for a counsellor/therapist or a coach, the most important factor is that you feel you are a good match to work together. This, the Relationship, is the greatest predictor of success.
- The second key thing is their qualification and experience. These are unregulated industries so for peace of mind make sure your coach has completed an Accredited training course and is a member of one of the recognised professional bodies. In coaching the main bodies are the ICF (International Coach Federation), EMCC (European Mentoring and Coaching Council), and the AC (Association of Coaching). If your coach is an accredited member of one of these, you know that they have committed to uphold a certain standard and abide by an ethical code. If your Coach is also a Psychologist they will have membership of a psychological society instead of, or as well as, a coaching body (eg Psychological Society of Ireland -PSI, or British Psychological Society -BPS, or American Psychological Association -APA etc).
I am a Chartered Psychologist with the PSI and am also accredited to the ACC level with the ICF.
If you still have questions after reading this, or if you’re wondering if coaching is for you, please feel free to contact me by email – [email protected] and I’ll be happy to help if I can.